I got a piece of junk mail the other day that I just had to share in this space for the pure fun factor. Here’s the play-by-play from a user perspective:
1. The Envelope—This is the equivalent of the subject line in email spam terms. It’s got all of the latest bells and whistles that are aimed to keep you from dropping it directly into the wastebasket. You know, there’s the WARNING and “Penalty for Tampering” and an IRS-looking “FORM 2009 096-5B.” There’s the classic three-stage tear-strip opening procedure that only official documents bother to use, of course. On a side note, it is interesting that making it harder to open a piece of mail actually can result in higher open rates—but I digress…
2. The Invitation—Evidently I have been selected to receive two round-trip airfares to most major international airports of my choice! It appears that this is for a ride on a new company called US Airlines. You know, the guys from those commercials who say, “Fly the US Skies.” Note how the offer comes with a unique offer number and bonus grocery voucher for the first 100 callers.
3. BONUS—A boarding pass! Hey, I guess I can just take this to the airport right now and get on seat 07-C (which had better be First Class). But what about the boarding pass for my companion? I’m sure they’ll just take care of that at the Delta counter when I go to get on the flight to USA DESTINATIONS. Thankfully this is valid through 2009. But wait, at the bottom in small print this says, “Not valid for travel.” I’d better call for details…
4. The Phone Call—I had to do this post justice and call the number to see if I could get some more intelligence for you, dear readers. At the risk of getting on some super-duper short list of people who actually respond to these things, I did call in. An automated voice picked up right away and let me know that “because of the overwhelming response to this offer there is a 30- to 45-second wait time for my call to be answered.” In less time than that a friendly operator from “Reservations Services” got on the line and asked for my code to pull up my account. She said that not only would I receive the free air tickets but also two days and three nights of hotel accommodations. She then attempted to ask me some “qualifying questions.” (Hey, I thought this boarding pass meant I was prequalified?) Instead of continuing the charade I asked her to jump to the chase and tell me what the catch was. She said I’d have to attend a 90-minute presentation for a “travel agency” but was adamant that “this is NOT a time-share!” Unfortunately I don’t think I have an extra 90 minutes for this blog post, so I bailed at that point.
The Lesson: It’s wrong to fool your customers.
I don’t believe anyone reading this is foolish enough to fall for this nor jerk enough to think that this is an acceptable form of marketing. That said, these jerks are out there making it harder for the rest of us. Because of spam both in the mailbox and email inbox, our customers are more leery and have a more negative view of advertisers than ever before. There’s not much we can do except recognize the error of tricking people and ensure that we do the exact opposite of everything here.
Bob,
I like the investigative persistency – you know, just for the hell of it as you obviously smelled a rat at first sight.
On my side I had a much better experience. It was a B2B mailer. Truth be told, I also work in marketing, direct, fulfillment, CRM and so on so I do take a more critical look at the stuff in my in-boxes.
So, I grab the mail last week and sift it quickly to discover a small (smaller than #10) pastel green, handwritten envelope with my name written correctly – Keir NOT freakin’ Kier! No violator, no logos, no external messaging at all. With a real stamp. Very rare to get that sort of mailer, rather comforting and friendly at some emotional level (as in school sweetheart?? mmm).
Inside there is a one page ( 8 x 5 so maintaining the small & intimate construct) handwritten letter (ie machine handwitten) on Ampad yellow stock (the stuff that all trendy business folk snapped up 10 years ago) with a Dear Keir in the first line.
Offer: Every Life Science marketer wants to attend this (digital) event…do we or do I, methinks.
Next body copy section: offer of $5 bucks just to view the site – even if it is a cheapo trick, it is $5 bucks, and I can spend 10 seconds to get $5 bucks (that’s an hourly rate of $1,800. I’ve done consulting but that is crazy – I digress).
PURL provided so my arrival was somewhat personalized, and the event looks good.
So someone, somewhere gets it in my book. Get the right target prospect list, generate a mailer that stands out from the pack, inform very rapidly and offer a reward, keep it on an emotinal/personal level, mix media to good effect.
You should have received one too.
It’s a shame that for all of the hard work the DMA does to help business succeed, that companies like this prey on the unknowing. The font they use for American airlines (featuring major..) is eerily close to the real one as well as using US Airlines (making someone think it’s USAirways)
For a brief cup of tea I worked for an S&L in Wisconsin (geez, S&L, yep, it was the 80’s) in their DM group and yes, we had a piece that you had to unfold 6 times (more activity w/hands = increased response) but at the end of the day if the offer is lame, b.s., and scam-like it doesn’t matter.
I find these ones the best type of direct mail! Granted, i know what they are when i see them, and so i never ring (so from that point of view i guess, it’s a waste of trees and money for the sender) but i do get a kick out of the effort and thought they put into it!
Thanks for the comments, gang. I especially love Keir’s story of a handwritten note. Now that’s interruptive in a good way, plus meaningful in that it shows someone took time and effort to try and win your business. The $5 is pure bonus (and maybe unnecessary?). It reminds me of my Dad receiving a survey from his local Mercedes dealer which included a $2 bill.
[...] Marketing with Meaning » Blog Archive » A Dastardly Direct Mail Piece "I don’t believe anyone reading this is foolish enough to fall for this nor jerk enough to think that this is an acceptable form of marketing. That said, these jerks are out there making it harder for the rest of us. Because of spam both in the mailbox and email inbox, our customers are more leery and have a more negative view of advertisers than ever before. There’s not much we can do except recognize the error of tricking people and ensure that we do the exact opposite of everything here." (tags: marketing directmail leadgeneration bobgilbreath) [...]
i’ve also worked in direct, crm, dbase for over 20 years and get a kick out of mailbox stuff….while I agree, the bs and scam approach is annoying – i’d be curious to know what their cost per order is ….. which is really what direct is all about right? I know of folks that’ll invest 90 minutes of their time to get a ‘free’ trip. Kinda reminds of the credit card mailers – scam offer of cheap interest to start – same mailer over and over – but they generate a positive return.
Should never mislead your consumer, just wrong! Hilarious you posted this, very creative!
B